Effective Discipline
While we discussed punishment earlier, there is a distinctive difference between punishment and discipline. Let’s explore that topic here.
It is very difficult to advise families when it comes to disciplining their children. Pediatricians can only say so much, but in the end, it is always the parents’ final call.
A comprehensive approach considers the parent-child relationship. It also reinforces desired behaviors and serves as consequences for the negative behaviors. Studies show that corporal punishment has limited effect and side effects that are greatly damaging.
It is better to talk to the child than spanking. That is the case. But there are some children who cannot comprehend the importance of discipline. You cannot blame their parents reaching the boiling point and spanking them.
Parents come to pediatricians for advice, asking them what the appropriate actions to discipline their children are.
Discipline comes from the word “disciplinare.” It means 'to instruct' or 'to teach'. The process of nurturing, caring, guiding and teaching prepares the child to achieve controlling his own pleasures, disciplining himself, confident in himself and his abilities and respecting for others.
Effective discipline must have the following:
- A nurturing and guiding environment that is positive and very supportive of the parent-child relationship
- Systematic strengthening and tutoring of the behavior that is desired
- Decrease or eliminate behaviors that are not expected
Each of these components must be functioning adequately to achieve the desired result in child behavior.
Discipline begins as passive and this takes place when the child is still an infant. The parent establishes a schedule of feeding, sleeping and awakening. These biologic rhythms are regular and can easily be adapted into the family routine. In a subtle way, the infant adjusts his body clock.
As the infant becomes more mobile and has more contact with his surroundings, the parent must then learn to set limitations. It is their duty to set safe places for the infant to play and explore.
It is when the infant becomes a toddler that the parent uses verbal discipline. At this stage, children are more complex physically and socially. The parent must then make sure that they are protected and at the same time teach them the desired behavior they want their children to have.
By consistent disciplining, the child will be able to combine the attitude and expectation of his parents in his behavior.
This is when preschoolers start developing a comprehension of rules. Their actions are guided by these rules and the awareness of what is right and wrong. Often times, parents tell the children that there is a consequence if they choose to do the wrong action.
As children reach the school age, the rules they learned at home are internalized and combined with a heightened sense of self-control and responsibility. If the child is mature enough, he will also then extend the care and respect to other people, specifically his classmates.
Parents must be there during the crucial transitioning of childhood to adolescence. Here, the parents must adjust their disciplining strategies because their children will want more independence and responsibility. This can be challenging to both parties.
The transitioning phase often need
- A positive and supportive relationship between the parents and the child}
- Usage of a positive reinforcement strategy in order to increase the possibility of getting the desired behavior
- Total eradication of punishment in order to eliminate the undesired side effects.
An effective discipline take place when the children feel secure and above all, loved. With this setting, the parents respond more to the children’s behavior, be it of approval or disapproval. This has a great effect and importance for the children. Parental responses often build up the loving and secure setting that the children need in order for them to have a stable environment.
By knowing that competent adults are taking care of them, there is more space for development of personal worth. Children respond to a positive relationship and it is easier to discipline in this setting.
Also, parents must serve as the role models of their children. It will be easier to discipline them effectively if they are actually seeing what is expected of them. By imitating their parents’ actions, then the child will understand more why he must do this action.
Successful child-rearing procedures show that desired actions are increased if punishment is scratched out of the picture. Sure, punishment has its ups and downs because a child knows for sure that he did something wrong but it is not advisable. Sometimes, when a child is punished, the parent is not really sure whether the child will take it as a consequence to not do the action again or a reason for him to be afraid of and distant from the parent.
Simply put, effective discipline must involve positive behaviors such as providing special time for the children. Communication is usually the key. If parent and child are open, then there will be no misconstrued ideas between them.
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