15. Don't Forget to Praise Your Child

The Long-lasting Rewards of Encouragement:  Don’t Forget to Praise Your Child!

How can we explain why there are kids who grow up lazy, timid, and very shy, with lots of insecurities and without self-respect?  They grow up rude and don’t even respect elders including their parents as well. 

How about those kids who lack intelligence?  No matter what you do, you have already provided all the books that he need, enrolled him in a good school and tutored him almost everyday, but still he has no interest in education!   Why is this?

If, for instance, you are a parent who experiences this kind of dilemma, maybe you should ask yourself why!  Perhaps, the fault is in you!  Examine your relationship with your child.  Are your efforts enough?  Maybe not!

Studies have shown that those kids who normally excel in school are those who experience an abounding love from their parents.  They are the ones who are well disciplined in school, healthy and lively!  They are friendly, playful, and obedient and know how to respect elders. 

Parenting is a big factor by which children are molded the right way.  However, different people have different ways of showing love and care.  Some are very authoritative while some are not. 

In parenting you should consider both being authoritative and gentle at the same time.  As a parent, you should also learn how to be consistent in carrying out rules to your children.  By this way, you’ll be able to inculcate in your child a sense of respect. 

However, you need not always demonstrate a very strict attitude, to the point that your child becomes intimidated.  It is also important that you let him practice his own authority over things.  Just don’t forget to guide him.  And whether he succeeds in his decisions or not, always praise him! 

Regular praise and encouragement help a child develop self-esteem and confidence.  These two factors determine why children succeed in whatever endeavor they are in, whether in academics, sports, music and arts. 

As a parent, you feel so fulfilled when you see your child stand out, right?  But, it is not a good reason to always push your child to excel in academics if he is not good at it.  The best thing to do is continuous encouragement and guidance.  Take note that not all kids have the same learning capacities. 

One research about grade school students, who came from different socio-economic settings, showed that children do succeed in such activities if they are praised.  This study has emphasized   that praises would not only mean recognizing their ability and performance towards their work but also their efforts to do it. 

As one psychologist quoted – when you only pay tribute to the achievements of your children without seeing their effort and eagerness, you’ll put them to eventual frustration when they fall short of doing well.

Always remember that kids feel a sense of belonging by how their parents communicate certain words and actions.  They understand the relevance of doing their best by how the parents respond and react with their works.  They also learn how to cooperate outside their homes as they experience some domestic responsibilities within the family.

How to Create a Competitive Child

Creating a competitive child is an enduring process included in the pursuit of good parenting.  It is impossible to motivate and train a child overnight.  Certain values and standards are understood and applied through the process of internalization and constant reminder.  It is not bad to constantly remind your children about doing their homework, just don’t sound like you are nagging them. 

A competitive child is determined by his or her self-esteem and confidence.  You can say that your child is competitive when he or she genuinely believes in his or her capabilities.  It will definitely show in his actions and responses.

Children usually acquire self-esteem from the influence of the parents.  It can be genetically acquired or learned through training and education.  If the parents don’t have confidence, there is a possibility that the children would not have it also.  However, it can be developed through proper training, reminder and encouragement. 

How can you promote confidence to your child?    You can simply do this by letting him know that he belongs in the family.  Showing unconditional love would assure him that he is part of the family. 

Let him learn to do new things. Allow him to participate in some household chores.  This way, he will learn how to contribute responsibly, thus will make him more confident when tasked to do things on his own.

As you follow these simple steps, you’ll see a remarkable difference.  You will notice that your child becomes more confident in doing schoolwork.  Eventually, you will reap the benefits of seeing your child succeed in his life.